After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
