Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
