Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
