Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
