My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
