I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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