Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize