Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
