I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Randomize
