The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
