I CAN MOONWALK!
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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