Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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