Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
