not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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