but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
