question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
