Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
