Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
