He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
farters have to be the big spoon...
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize