So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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