hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
