are you so shy because you have an std?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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