the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Randomize
