I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
