just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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