I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
