Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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