She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize