I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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