Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
