Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
