Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
