You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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