feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
