I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
No subtext here. People are naked.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
