We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
