You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
