I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
