It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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