Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
