just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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