Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
