My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
