i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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