using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
