Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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