yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Never joke about your clitoris.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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