NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I would ride that face into the sunset
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
