Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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