i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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