I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
