I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
