Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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