i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
