Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
