No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
honey bunches of taint.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Randomize
