is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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