I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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