Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
