so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
