I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
