How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Randomize
