I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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