in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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