I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
birth control should be required to get into college
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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